Raising your game – the power of insights from others!

How seriously do you take feedback?
Are you curious of how others find you?
Are you humble enough to sit and really listen, take in and reflect on your own way of being?

When we work with people on a regular basis, we begin to make a judgement on their behaviour and on how they make us feel. We might compare it to our own values. We might compare it to how we see others. But like it or not, when you walk through your organisation’s front doors and begin to develop working relationships with your colleagues and peers – someone is developing a view on you based on their own experiences of life, beliefs and implicit values.

Those views on the whole, go unheard. It’s territory that we tend not to venture into. And yet they can offer such insights into how we are perceived. With those insights, we’d have a real opportunity to raise our game and achieve the unimaginable!

I’ve been working with small groups of peers where we’ve introduced the opportunity to give feedback to each other in a considered, thoughtful and insightful way. It’s based around a simple framework that some practitioners would say is just too loose! But it offers those using it, the scope to go where they want with it – and it’s that freedom which people have loved about it.

Very simply, people give their feedback and observations to an individual following 3 simple statements:

• What you should do more of…..
• What you should do less of….
• What you should continue to do……

And in giving feedback, remember it’s not about the exchange of power, expertise or preferential treatment. It’s about giving an honest appreciation of what someone does well (more of), what they could minimise to achieve greater potential (less of) and what they should ensure that they keep in their toolkit (continue to do).

I’ve found it works best when:

• There’s high trust amongst the individuals.
• There’s collegiate respect amongst the individuals.
• There’s an environment of curiosity and humility to learn.
• People understand the difference between listening and hearing!
• Everyone is encouraged to speak into the backs of the eyes of the individual they are giving feedback to (this is more difficult than you would imagine. But try speaking into the eyes of someone next time you’re with them and you’ll see and feel the difference in the conversation!)

I could write a much fuller article about how this is run for individual and group gain – and would be happy to share ideas with anyone interested. But as ever, my view on feedback remains unchanged. It is the recipient of the feedback who has the choice to act on the feedback or not – the gift of exchange is simply in having the opportunity to receive it!