Time to come together!

Well I've been blogging on here for over 4 years now and I can't believe how quickly the time flies.

My very first blog was back in February 2010 and it was called 'Emotional fire in the belly stays with frontline staff."   My last blog was written just a month or so ago and the title for that piece of writing was: "What does a Funeral Director and a Celebrant chat about over coffee - non religious funerals of course!"  How different these two blogs are!
 

But as with anything in life - things change and new systems move us on.

 

You'll now find my future blogs all together on my website.  It was time to bring everything under one roof and make it easier for everyone.

 

So if you pop over to www.sinceremoments.co.uk you'll see a brand new page called 'news and views' - you might want to bookmark it so that you can easily find it in the future.

I look forward to seeing you over on my website - do keep in touch!

Thanks

Carole



 

What does a Funeral Director and a Celebrant chat about over coffee? Non-religious funerals of course!

Training Providers are churning out new Celebrants into the market place every month!

Every couple of months or so, I’m contacted by a new Celebrant either introducing themselves or asking for some guidance! 

And year on year, my funeral portfolio work almost doubles! 

So this week, I decided to grab a coffee with a local North Staffordshire Funeral Director, to ask him why he thinks our services are growing so fast! 

Andrew Butcher heads up his family owned funeral home - Hopkinson Wootton Lovatt (www.hopkinsonwoottonlovatt.co.uk) which is based in the heart of Newcastle-under-Lyme.  He’s the younger of the two in the picture below! – and he’s got a good handle on the funeral industry and where it’s heading.

Here are his thoughts to the questions I asked him! 

v     You and your family have been in the funeral industry for many years.  Why do you think more and more people are favouring Civil Celebrant led services? 

“Well if you turn the clock back sort of 15 to 20 years ago, there was a very strong, set tradition for a church service.  Whereas now, people tend to go either direct to the crematorium, or to a chapel at a cemetery.  It’s more appropriate in these places, to have a Civil Celebrant,  Humanist or a Funeral Director who’ll conduct the service throughout.

People are favouring it, because it’s more of a personal token to the deceased, rather than a member of the clergy preaching to the congregation.” 

v     When you’re with families, what triggers you to suggest using a Civil Celebrant rather than a member of the clergy? 

“As a Funeral Director, you’d take in all the surroundings of that family, as soon as you walk into their home.  You look to see if they’re committed to any sort of church and then how you’d want to celebrate the life that’s just been lost.  This gives you the vibes for which route you need to take the family down and what help they’ll need, to help them say their last goodbyes to their loved ones.” 

v     What’s the ‘best bit’ of a funeral led by a Civil Celebrant? 

“It’s often the personal touch that’s always added in, or ‘off the cuff’ statements made during the service, which brings laughter or applause.  But as a Funeral Director, we have hundreds of different contacts ranging from Humanists, Civil Celebrants and Clergy.  

You always have to remember – only use someone if you’d be willing to let them conduct a service for your own family.” 

v     What do you look for in the ‘ideal’ Civil Celebrant? 

“Well Carole, as you well know, I will not just accept a ‘knock on the door’ from someone who introduces themselves as a new Civil Celebrant.  I like to do my research on services they’ve done, their mannerisms, and how they conduct themselves.  They don’t just represent themselves, but also our firm. 

At Hopkinsons, we have a very high standard which people have to work to.  We would never lower our standards and they always have to remember, that the Funeral Director is in control of the service.  They need to work as a team in a very successful farewell for each individual family.” 

v     If you look ahead 10 years, do you see any trends or patterns emerging for what people will want from a funeral service? 

“Yes and No! 

The British are very slow on change.  We like tradition.   

You have to remember, Humanists have only been strong for the last 15 years and Civil Celebrants for around 4 or 5 years.  People have started to notice it more.  It’s all about educating families about what they can have and what’s possible. 

I feel that the next 10 years will see an incline to Civil services being held in more public buildings.  But as with most things and trends in life, everything tends to loop round in a big circle!” 

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So there we have it! 

      *  Civil funeral services are ‘personal’. 

      *  They’re not about ‘preaching’. 

      *  And the test for whoever you book for a funeral, is........’ only use someone if you’d be willing to let them conduct a service for your own family.” 

My thanks to Andrew for sharing his time, his insights and his forward thinking in this developing area. 

And if you're interested in how a Civil Celebrant led funeral can really make a difference, then do get in touch: M 07723 346 820 or Email carole@sinceremoments.co.uk

Carole

Tell them your story.....your way!

I was gently reminded today..........of the power of story telliing!

Stories bring people to life.
Stories let our imagination run wild.
Stories help us to tell people what really happens in our lives.
 
Whenever I conduct planning sessions or meetings with families about big life events, celebrations and ceremonies........I use story telling as my main medium of inquiry.

If any Celebrant walks into your house with a structured questionnaire.....show them the door!

Tell them your story......your way!

x Carole

A bottle of red wine.......just when you least expect it!

I had a wonderful surprise today.............I was awarded a bottle of red wine!

I'm a member of the Women in Rural Enterprise network (www.wireuk.org) and regularly attend the different networks around the West Midlands. 

Their networks are a great way to meet other women in business and hear their successes and challenges!  I always leave with a few golden nuggets that help me to grow my company and expand my brand and reputation.

Last year, I attended the local Cheshire WiRE network and was invited to give a presentation about my business, Sincere Moments.  I covered all those things that help people to understand what my product is and why I do what I do!  Namely:

• Why I chose to become a Celebrant
• What I enjoy most!
• How I'm growing my business
• My Values and Ambitions
• Tips and advice for other WiRE members

So imagine my delight today, when I received a bottle of red wine from Sue Roberts, the network leader from the Cheshire WiRE network.  It was awarded for the best presentation given at the Cheshire network meetings during 2012!

And here we are today......having a little radio exposure at a local radio station during our meeting........with a bottle of wine in hand!

Thank you so much Sue!

XCarole

Delighted to Guest Blog for 'The Wedding Genie'!

Well a happy new year to everyone and I hope your January is moving things along nicely in your life and your personal dreams!

I was delighted to be asked by Julie Dawson, owner and found of a Staffordshire based  Wedding Planning service www.theweddinggenie.co.uk to contribute a blog for her.

Julie provides a really good all round Wedding Planning service - and the best bit about how she works - is that she's superbly connected to other services that supply the wedding industry.  So when she asked if I would say a little about the Wedding Ceremonies I take  and how a Celebrant works - I jumped at the chance!

Here's the blog which is on Julie's site http://theweddinggenie.co.uk/2013/01/11/want-to-write-your-own-wedding-vows-or-even-your-ceremony/  It gives you a feel for how my Wedding Ceremonies run...............but I also share an insight into my own Wedding Ceremony in 2012.......and how I used the services of a brilliant fellow Celebrant, to design and take our Wedding Ceremony....................So I share first hand, my experience of what it feels like to celebrate your marriage using a Celebrant!

Enjoy the blog......enjoy the pictures.......and enjoy thinking about how you could have a Wedding Ceremony like no other bride and groom before you!

XCarole

What's Cesar Millan and ceremonies got to do with each other?

So what's the dog trainer Cesar Millan and delivering ceremonies, got to do with each other?

And why does it deserve a blog on a Celebrant's web site?

I'm a great supporter of Cesar Millan and turned to one of his books recently, to help me with the training of our 8 month old Newfoundland, Mishca..........She'll be 9 stone when she's fully grown.......she swims like a fish with her life saving skills.........and she's keen to do everything right for you!

Stick with the blog..........This isn't all about a cute puppy!

He advocates a stage process of management, something I just abbreviate with EDA - Exercise - Discipline - Affection.  But what he also empahsises is 'being in the moment' with your dog..........and being able to deal with wherever that dog is in its own world. 

And this got me thinking!  That's just what taking a great ceremony calls for.  You have to absorb the emotion that's flying around.  You need to sense where people are at.  And you have to go with the moment and react to it!  That calls for flexible facilitation skills and well placed antennae.  Sometimes it's not all about what you see - it's about how you feel!

I delivered a ceremony recently where at one point, I went totally 'off script' - because the audience just weren't ready for what was coming........I could see it in their eyes.......I could feel it in the room.  I could sense it!

I moved it and brought it in later.  It was well received.   It raised some laughs.  If I'd followed my process and script......and ignored being ''in the moment' ............the ceremony wouldn't have had the feedback that it did!

So if you're looking for a Celebrant to take your ceremony - from a wedding to a funeral - look for someone who can sense their audience and feel the emotion in the room.  Then look for examples of where they've managed all of this to get a great end result.  If their script and their timing is so rigid that it's just a process......then you may as well just search for a college lecturer!

Being in the moment - it's something any Celebrant should be confident to deliver on!

XCarole

How to choose the ideal wedding ceremony venue!

I was delighted to be asked to be a Guest Blogger for a wonderful website www.beautilicious40bride.co.uk

The site is aimed at anyone aged 40 or over who's tying the knot!

My blog talks about how to choose the most perfect wedding venue......but I also share a little insight into my own wedding from June this year!

Take a look at  http://www.beautilicious40bride.co.uk/looking-at-wedding-venues-for-your-civil-wedding-dont-follow-the-rest/

.........and thanks to Janet from Beautilicious 40 Bride, for asking me to contribute to her most amazing website!

xCarole

My Top 5 Frequently Asked Questions!

Over the last few months, I’ve been busy with a range of ceremonies…..celebrations involving the arrival of new life through to the end of life.

Each ceremony is as unique as the person or the couple at the heart of it all……and I’m just as precious about my next ceremony …….as I was when I did my first!.

But there’s been a trend to some of the questions that families ask me – and I thought I’d share the top 5 with you……..and my answers!

1          What made you go into this then?

Firstly, a very dear friend told me some years ago, that she thought I’d be good at taking civil funerals…..that I just had ‘a way’ about me that would suit it.  I knew nothing about the role at the time and because I was forging ahead with my Consultancy career, I parked it - but never forgot her wisdom!  She’s one of those friends who rarely proffers her own opinion….but when she does, it’s worth waiting for!

I then went to a friend’s funeral and my heart sank at the kind of service they had.  They deserved so much more.  They had a life that should have been celebrated and recognised.  Instead they got a sombre passage into another era.  At that time, I just thought I could have given more.  But more importantly, I left that service wanting to give more.  The rest is history!

2          How do you not cry at funerals…..how do you hold it together?

I always thought I would cry.  But I don’t.  When I first went into this role I asked the same question of my Mum…….”Mum……what if I cry?”   Her answer was short and succinct……”Well if you do Carole…..then you’re in the wrong job!”

I want to give the best possible service I can and that means 100% devotion to delivery.  I believe that’s what mourners want from someone who leads them through one of the most difficult days of their life.  They need someone who is empathetic, yes.  But they need someone to give them direction and to lead them with strength and honest courage.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t have empathy.  I’ve shed subtle tears with many a bereaved person.  But it’s  saved for the right  time and place.

3          Are you busy?

That’s an interesting question because I think it’s subjective.  I’m as busy as I want to be!  I know some Celebrants in other counties who are delivering over 10 funerals a week – for me that would just be way too many!  A Celebrant’s week involves funeral services during the week days and Baby Namings, Vow Renewals or Weddings at week-ends – so you do have to get the balance.

I know I would be ‘too busy’ when I sense the quality of my ceremonies is suffering and I’m consciously aware of not allowing that to ever happen!

4          You can legally marry people or take civil partnerships then?

I cannot legally marry anyone!  You do still need a Registrar to conduct the legal side of marriage or a Civil Partnership.  But a Celebrant can take the ceremonial aspect of the marriage or partnership at any time and any place.

This means that the couple choose to take their two witnesses to the Register Office and conduct the minimum legal requirements to make them lawfully married or bound in a partnership.   That  involves some short statements and the signing of the register.  They then save the vows, exchange of rings, readings, music and much more, for their personalised wedding or partnership.  I’ve blogged on this before and the following link explains this in more detail http://www.sinceremoments.blogspot.co.uk/2012_04_01_archive.html

5          You’re a Humanist then?

No.  A Humanist would not allow the inclusion of any aspect of religion into their ceremonies.  Non-religious ceremonies means just that - the total exclusion of rituals such as hymns or prayers.

A Civil Celebrant will warmly and openly include spiritual or religious aspects in ceremonies, if that’s what families choose.

My take on this is simple.  I don’t believe the world is so black and white for it to be as simple as religious or not religious.  There has to be room for the grey – and Civil Celebrants openly accommodate this.

****************************************************************************************

The other question that raises its head from time to time is “What were you doing before this?”

Now that’s a whole new story.  But take a peek at my Linkedin profile for a snapshot of where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to over the years!

http://uk.linkedin.com/in/carolerenshawsinceremoments

When the time comes.....what is it that really matters about life?

I'm at the end of a busy week...........taking ceremonies about new life, right through to our endings.  That's just the landscape of a Celebrant's diary!

So I'm in quite a reflective mood.  

For me, this funeral poem just sums up what life's all about and it's one that a family used in a service I led recently.  At the end of the day, what is it that really matters?

Not, how did he die, but how did he live?

Not, what did he gain, but what did he give?

These are the units to measure the worth

Of a man as a man, regardless of his birth.

Nor what what his church, nor what was his creed?

Was he ever ready, with word of good cheer?

To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?

Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,

But how many were sorry when he passed away? 

The poem has no author - it's anonymous.  But it does get us to question the meaning of life and how people measure us for our worth?

I wonder how many would be sorry if I passed away?

"Now when you get it - ignore the grammar and punctuation! It's written to be heard and not read........."

Whoever I'm working with on the design of a ceremony or a service, you'll hear me at some point explaining how the draft is likely to look.

This is because I'm preparing them for a piece of writing that is coming through that will at times look odd. It will at various points feel awkward to read...........And I can guarantee that it would fail any academic english language or grammar test! The reason is simple. My ceremonies are written to be 'heard' and not 'read'.

When I'm presenting a service whether that be a funeral, a renewal of vows or perhaps a baby naming ceremony - then the language, pace, tone, punctuation and overall presentation carries just as much weight, if not more sometimes, than the actual written content. Writing to be 'heard' is very different from writing pieces that are to be read and digested. When you're writing to be heard, you're writing for immmediate impact!

In my design work I make more use of language patterns. I systematically hit all of the senses. I speak in colour as well as in 'black and white'. I draw from the past as well as take people into the future. I talk 'big picture' alongside the detail.........and lots more. It all goes to putting together a ceremony that is engaging, interesting and unforgettable.

Your ceremonies are a one off experience. You won't get a second chance to run them again. So make sure you use a celebrant that's experienced in creative writing and presenting. It's the only way to guarantee great design and delivery of your ceremony.

'Hello' magazine gives examples of garden weddings!

It was another capuccino moment that sparked this latest blog! I put my hands up to admitting that I work best when I'm in 'thinking' and reflective mode!

I'd been having a chat that morning with a mum whose daughter is getting married next year - and explaining how using a celebrant for the wedding ceremony can give you something different. Then I opened the October issue of 'Hello'. Now if you have one to hand - then turn to the pages which celebrate the different weddings.

You'll read about how Mr and Mrs - "....got married in the gardens of the father of the bride......"

So how can you get married in your own gardens and exchange vows anywhere?

Let's put the record straight. Only a registrar from the Council or the member of your clergy can legally marry you here in England - that's when we start talking about church weddings or licensed civil venues. It's different in Scotland and in other countries, but that's where we are in England so let's just work with it. But how you 'celebrate' that wedding is entirely within your own gift.

So there's nothing stopping couples going to 'register' their marriage at the Register Office and doing the bare, basic legal minimum requirements - and then coming away to hold their wedding ceremony complete with the exchange of vows - at a place and time that matters most to them!

So why would you take this approach? Well if any of the following appeals to you, then have a chat with me!

• Complete freedom to design readings, vows and the whole content of your ceremony - you don't have to go along with what's offered to you and every other couple that comes through the doors!
• The opportunity to have the ceremony outdoors, in your own gardens, on your nearest beach, perhaps even at the place where the proposal took place - you can hold the ceremony anywhere and at anytime and aren't restricted to licensed venues.
• The choice of personalising this most significant chapter of your life - and having a photo album like no other!

If you think about it - when a child is born we register the birth and celebrate it through a christening or baby naming ceremony some weeks or months later. When someone dies, we register the death and hold the service a week or so later. You can register the marriage using this same approach and then come away and hold the ceremony afterwards.

Next time you read about someone getting married in their landscaped gardens, on the top of woodland or underneath their favourite 200 year old oak tree - chances are they used a Celebrant!

The approach doesn't appeal to everyone - but if you're getting married for the second, third or fourth time then something different like this could be quite exciting for you. And if you've had enough of the corporate and 'like-for-like' wedding packages, then this way of getting married is right up your street!

When choosing a reading is like baking a cake!

In designing ceremonies, there is nearly always the opportunity to include readings, poems or other verses - they're great opportunities to reinforce a message or special meaning for you.

But if you're gearing towards having one or more of these in your ceremony, then don't get hung up too early on which one to choose! Often when I'm meeting people for the first time, I'm asked to bring along examples for them to look through. But I immediately steer away from this approach and encourage people to focus more on:

• Understanding the key message behind the ceremony or service.
  
• Learning about the personal values and beliefs around whom the ceremony is written.
• Thinking about how you want your guests to feel about the service.
• Is there anyone you have in mind to do the reading and are they a good speaker?- A great reading can flop through poor delivery!
  

I then come away and match the readings to these essential ingredients. If you're baking a cake, you wouldn't go out and buy vanilla essence for a strawberry pavlova! Then don't go and choose a reading until you've decided on the meaning of the ceremony and the key message you want people to leave with.

A reading, verse or poem should be included because it adds value to the ceremony - not because there's time for it or because 'that's what others have done'. So if you're using a Celebrant who just shows you a library of collections - then think again! But if you're using a Celebrant who shows you a short-list of appropriate samples - then there's been more thought and consideration into the design and the ceremony is sure to be a winner!

When getting remarried can be better than the first time round!

If you're getting remarried, then you're probably faced with the options of a standard civil ceremony for your wedding!

If I've caught you on a lazy evening mulling over how you say 'I do' - then you might just be browsing through brochures and catalogues for different venues and destinations?

If you're in either of these two situations - just press the pause button for one moment....

A church wedding is probably out of the question. After all, one or possibly both of you may have done this before! But there is a great alternative to what you think might be your only option of turning up at a register office and holding your standard ceremony there, or being the fourth couple in a month to get married at a licensed venue that appears in all the local magazines!

STOP PRESS - It's called using a Celebrant to conduct your ceremony when, where and how you want.

Imagine having total control over the length, content and structure of your celebrations. An independent celebrant is able to give you complete designer's freedom to have the ceremony of your dreams, wrapped entirely around your own thoughts and wishes for the day.

Wondering how it can be done? - then take a look at my website for further information on the legal aspects of getting married and the benefits of separating out the ceremonial aspects of the wedding. If you're getting remarried then you really do have the chance to make this even better than the first time round!

A wedding photo album like no other - all because you used a celebrant!

Here I am again - but only because it's my conversations with different people that initiate the different perspectives in my blogs!

Recent activities have led me into conversations about why you should choose to use a celebrant to create and design your wedding ceremony? Well if you're getting married then chances are that you'll be guided into one of the following avenues for your wedding:

• Full church wedding with all the expectations that go with that.
• Marriage at a fully licenced civil venue using a council registrar and celebrant.
• Result = No flexibility on the design of your ceremony and an album of photos like every other couple before and after you.

There is an alternative that enables you to celebrate your ceremony where-ever you want, when you want and with total designer's freedom to have the ceremony of your dreams. It works like this:

• You take care of the legal side of your marriage by completing the bare minimum requirements at a Register Office. You do not have to hold your ceremony there and the exchange of rings and vows can be done at any time and in any place - these rituals are purely ceremonial.
• You invite all your guests to the venue of your choice and conduct the ceremony with them all at your side. There are no restrictions on who can come because of numbers, how or where it is conducted, or how long you need to be there for - all these venue restrictions just vanish!
• You write your own vows that have real meaning for you - you have complete choice over what is said and how those vows are exchanged.
• You have a day like no other couple! It's your day and only yours........

I helped a couple understand how this could be done by summing up the approach:

• When a baby is born - we register the birth and celebrate the occasion later at a Baby Naming ceremony or Christening.
  
• When we lose someone close to us, we register the death and hold the funeral service some days later.
• When we get married - there is no reason why we cannot register the marriage and hold the ceremony later on.

It's just that we tend to stick with tradition - it's what we know and are comfortable with. But rest assured that there are alternatives that give real choice, flexibility and freedom. Your photo album should be as unique as you are as a couple! Using a professionally trained celebrant will give you this result.

"I've been to blessings before, but that was the most 'sincere' I've ever been to!"

At a recent Renewal of Vows ceremony, I was struck by these comments from a member of the audience. She had been to blessings before, but for her, the experience of the ceremony I conducted stood out above all others.

So what is it that makes for a good ceremony?

Here are my 5 top tips that should help you create a first class ceremony - whether that be for a wedding, baby naming, renewal of vows, funeral service or other life changing occasion. The added trick is to find yourself a first class celebrant to bring it all to fruition for you!

• Begin with the end in mind - Often I'll ask people how they want to feel when they leave the ceremony and how they want their audience to feel. I'll then work backwards to make sure we deliver on this expectation.

• Keep the spotlight on everyone - There may be a special person or couple around which the ceremony is written. But there are others in the room who are just as important and their expectations for the ceremony are just as significant. Don't forget your audience!

• It's not the length or size that matters - Don't worry about filling time. What's more important is the quality of what's said and how it's said, rather than the length of the ceremony itself. I've seen and witnessed ceremonies that have gone on too long and everyone moves into distraction mode!

• Be comfortable with silence and a pause - Just because we cannot hear anything happening does not mean that we are standing still. Silences are a powerful intervention for allowing others to meander with their thoughts, and letting their minds wander into wonderful memories that they will remember forever. And they will always link these memories to your ceremony!
  

• Go with the flow - All ceremonies have a strucutre - A start and an end! What's important on the day is that your celebrant is able to read the emotion in the room and work that into the ceremony. 'Going with the flow' is a skill that experienced facilitators draw upon to keep engagement and relevance. Never work with a celebrant who is so hung up on structure, that they lose the opportunity to capture those wonderful off-the-cuff moments!
  

If you have an important ceremony looming - then try using these 5 points as a check list.

They will be different to what you might have seen so far, but they are designed to make the most of a ceremony that doesn't getting a second chance on its showing. You and your audience deserve the best chance there is at getting it right first time.!

When a wedding ceremony just has to be different!

As I talk with more and more people about how different their wedding ceremonies can look, I’m beginning to realise that tradition is such a powerful tool!

The yearning to hang onto as much tradition as we can, wrapped with the choice to have designer’s freedom for ceremonies seems to be a common thread of my chats. There is nothing wrong with this at all but using a Celebrant for your wedding ceremony can help build in the best of both worlds.

Take a look at this most unusual marriage proposal – and then look out for the glint of tradition that brings warmth and sincerity to the whole affair.





Now with this particular couple, you would imagine that their wedding ceremony is going to be something quite different and unique. If they were in the UK, I’d be encouraging them to go and do the basic legal necessities at a register office – over and done with in 15 minutes and so impersonal.

Then reach for the stars and design a ceremony that brings all of the ‘wow’ and fragility of romance that these two deserve. With snippets of tradition wrapped with elements of curious design, these two could take their ceremony wherever they want, when they want and have with them whom they want – all without the restrictions of licensed venues or offices. On top of that, add the ability to write your own vows and you have the making of something quite incredible!

Answers on a postcard – it’s called a Civil Wedding Ceremony!

Choosing a celebrant worth their weight in gold!

So you’ve made a decision. You want to renew your wedding vows. You know when and where but you don’t know how!

You’re told that you need a ‘Celebrant’. Chances are you’ve never heard of this before and don’t know where to start – but you have a vague idea that they conduct the ceremony!

Here are my 5 tops tips for choosing the right Celebrant to design, write and lead your ceremony:

• Make sure they’re happy to meet with you to chat about your thoughts – and this should be without obligation and more importantly without cost!


• Find out their experience before becoming a Celebrant – and look out for plenty of experience of working with people and great facilitation and writing skills
  


• Make sure they’re accredited through a recognised Celebrancy body.
  


• Ask to speak with other people who have used their services and who are happy to recommend them.
  


• Check out their website and make sure it gives you the right feel for the kind of person you’re looking for.

And if you’ve got this far and have all the ticks in the boxes, then chances are you’re on the road to making a sound decision. Celebrants worth their weight in gold should be giving you all of this. As ever, my advice is to go with your gut instinct!

Now enjoy the ceremony and those special moments just waiting to happen!

Even William and Kate show how to make the best use of vows on their wedding day!

I’m having some really interesting conversations at the moment around the wedding ceremony side of my new business: –

“What? You really can write your own vows for a wedding?”

And we see this in a small way right now, in the words that William and Kate have decided to use in their statement of vows. Kate ‘will not obey’ – but the words chosen have been to ‘….love, comfort, honour and keep…..’

Wedding ceremonies are occasions that celebrate the new life of a couple that intend to spend the rest of their lives together through marriage. The vows and the exchange of rings are purely ceremonial and can be in any form or combination that suit the newly married couple. Any professional celebrant worth their weight in gold, can help a couple write their vows in a way that makes them unique, special and wrapped entirely around the wishes of the couple.

In legal terms, there are only three things that need to happen to form a legal marriage – and whether you like it or not, they simply have to be said and witnessed:

Declaratory Words:

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I (your full name) may not be joined in matrimony to (your partner’s full name)

Contracting Words:

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I (your full name), do take thee, (your partner’s full name), to be my lawful wedding wife (or husband)

And of course you need two independent witnesses to sign the register.

Outside of this, your ceremony can be where you want; how you want; and when you want – so long as the legal side of the marriage is taken care of separately.

I’ve just had the most enlightening and inspiring conversation with the Father of a Bride to be, about putting together a creative wedding ceremony for his one and only daughter. News just out is that it’s going to be at sunset! In the middle of his field….. And with everyone around to see and hear the most perfect vows you could imagine written for this special couple!

If you’re wedding is coming up……if you’ve recently got engaged……..just stop and press the pause button. Imagine the day and ceremony of your dreams – then talk with a professionally trained celebrant to help make those dreams come true!