Standard Scripts.......they just sheep dip!

I accept that we're all different.

 

I understand that we all choose different things in life.

 

And I can see why 'straight forwardness' can be appealing....

 

But I can't see why we should settle for standard and well used scripts with finger prints all over them, when we're holding ceremonies for life's key moments like births, deaths and marriages.

• We are unique. 
• There is no other person on earth like us. 
• We cannot be replicated. 
• We all have a story!

The ceremonies I write, reflect this individuality......standard scripts sheep dip!. 

 

They create stories that people love to hear and be part of......standard scripts aren't interested in anything other than speaking their words! 

 

They build warmth and engagement with your guests and audience ........standard scripts don't 'do' engagement....they're written to just tell you something!

 

When I get my next call for another ceremony booking, I'll have one of these tucked away under my arm!........It's part of my working inventory!...................It's energising!....................And it'll help me to work with stories and individuality!

 

 

 

Don't settle for something that hundreds of others before you have settled for.  You deserve more than that!

 

XCarole

When someone says that they 'enjoyed' a funeral - isn't that OK?

In my world - yes it is!  But more often than not, the use of the word 'enjoy' has a slightly different context.

Funerals are our last and final chance to say goodbye.  They have the potential to create new memories that stay with us for our lifetime.  Done badly - and they become a draining echo.

It's not unusual for mourners to come up to me after a service, to say how much they enjoyed it.  Sometimes they feel inwardly apologetic for the use of the word 'enjoy'.  Other times I see them frowning and hear them asking themselves if that's the right word to use.  It's almost like they feel uncomfortable to be able to enjoy such a sad occasion.

And when I chat a little further with them, enjoying the funeral was all about:

• Hearing about the deceased in a way that was true to them - "...it was John through and through...."
• Knowing that the funeral was taken in a way, that the person themselves would have loved.
• Providing an emotive experience from start to finish - "......I enjoyed every minute of it........."
• Learning something new about the person they've lost.

So I think it's OK to enjoy a funeral!  It doesn't mean we're roaring around with laughter.  It means that in a silent and personal way, mourners are individually finding connections that mean something to them, that they will forever remember.  It just so happens that in the context of a funeral - that's described as enjoyment!

So let's not feel humble or guilty at enjoying funerals - however that gets interpreted!

If we've helped someone to remember a great life.............to emphasise memories that get embedded deep inside.........and to walk away feeling warm, settled and at ease - then that'a funeral well done in my mind!

Top 5 reasons to use a Celebrant!

You've seen some tweets going around twitter about Civil Celebrants!

You know that they're some kind of professional trained to conduct funerals, weddings, baby namings, vow renewals and much more!

You're wondering why you would ever need one!

Civil Celebrants are a breed of trained professionals who can design, facilitate and conduct non-religious or semi-religious ceremonies.  

Think of the typical ceremonies or services that you've been to like weddings, christenings or funerals, where they've tended to be led with a religious outlook.  Now imagine that you have another choice!

Ceremonies run by Civil Celebrants give an alternative to tradition and religion.  They focus on the people at the heart of the ceremony and their values and beliefs - and what they want the ceremony to do for them.  They don't focus on the beliefs of the person who is conducting the ceremony.  This is the main, refreshing difference! 

You could just 'google' the word 'Celebrant' all day and you'd soon get a feel for the types of ceremonies and services they're delivering all across the UK.  But here's a snapshot of the top 5 reasons for using one.......

• You get complete control over the structure, content and style of your ceremony - you get to design what is said and how it's said!  You're not tied into corporate standard packages or just 'going with the flow'.

• You can hold your ceremony or service anywhere you want and at anytime - forget about being tied into the working hours of others.  If you want your ceremony at sunrise or sunset....then you can!

• You can invite exactly who you like - there are no restrictions on numbers so long as your venue can accommodate the size of your party or audience. 

• If you're getting married or entering into a civil partnership, then you can design and write your own vows - you don't have to accept those standard statements that every other couple uses.  You really can make them your own! 

• You get a professional and polished finished for that big occasion - Civil Celebrants are certified and trained to provide the most professional finish and edge that you could imagine.  Design, delivery, engagement and rituals are their guiding lights.  This isn't always the case with religious bodies. 

So if you're looking to hold a wedding, partnership, renewal of vows, baby naming or funeral - then you deserve to have it wrapped completely around your own wishes and beliefs.  There's  so much commercialism and standardisation out in the market, that it's refreshing to know that there's a unique and personal approach available.  It's just about knowing what's on offer!


So 'google' and 'twitter' away........find a local Celebrant who you can chat to..........check out their certification and credentials..........then book them up!  You'll be guaranteed a one-off, personalised ceremony with a photo album afterwards like no-one else!

When weaving in bits of religion can work best?

People often find me or are signposted to me, because of their choice to have a non-religious ceremony or service. In most cases, those same people are heartened to know that they can in fact build in elements of religion, if that is their choice.

Now if I was a humanist celebrant – such an offer would not be on the table. But I’m not a humanist and it is indeed on offer – the joys of choosing the ‘independent’ stance to my professional training!

I’m finding that this approach is attractive to people, when they start thinking about who will be attending the ceremony or service as guests. Often if there are religious members of the family or friends, then weaving in an element of religion can be a way of making a connection and helping them to feel involved. There is nothing worse for a guest than feeling like a passive bystander whilst everything is going on around them.

There are some respectful ways of bringing religion into ceremonies without it dictating the whole event:-

• Singing an appropriate hymn at a funeral service.

• Finding space for a special reading at a Wedding or Renewal of Vows.

• Allowing time for private prayers during moments of reflection.

As a Celebrant, I aim to create and facilitate ceremonies that put the spotlight where it needs to be, whilst ensuring all guests leave feeling involved, engaged, and connected to the celebration. And sometimes we can get there with a little ‘pick n mix’!

As ever the choice is entirely yours – but thinking about your guests might need to be on your check list!