To Pray or not to Pray.....that is the question!

Whenever I take a ceremony - whether that be a Funeral , Vow Renewal, Baby Naming or a Wedding - I'm not cloaked or gowned in anything that resembles a religious institution.  In fact you'll probably find me in a black, grey or purple co-ordinated outfit!

So normally, people who are in the audience are a little curious as to who and what I am.   Straight away, they believe I must be an Humanist.  Because that's the language that's been around for some time.  You either believe in religion - or you don't. 

And if you don't, then you're a Humanist, Atheist or whatever label you choose to give it!

I describe the role of a Civil Celebrant as someone who's 'Middle of the Road'.  Which to me, means that the world isn't so black and white as we'd like to imagine.  Religious or not - how about "I don't know!"

So people who book and commission me to lead a ceremony for them, know that they are completely free to include any aspect of religion or spirituality into their celebration.  They use me because they don't want the ceremony to be led by religious beliefs or by an individual espousing what should be happening in life. 

To Pray or not to Pray - that is the question!

And if you decide to pray, sing a hymn, or have a religious reading, then make sure you don't book a Humanist to lead the ceremony for you.  It's simply not possible because of the belief systems of that ideology.

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty clear which option gives me most flexibility!

xCarole

Loved Guest Blogging for the photographer who captured my own Wedding Ceremony!

Almost 2 years ago and by chance, I met a local photographer by the name of Kim Shaw! (www.kimshawphotography.co.uk)

Little did I know at the time...........but she was to be more than a photographer who would provide me with my portrait pictures for my new web site....................In fact she became my photographer for my own wedding back in June 2012! 

I just liked her style, her relaxed approach and her passion for flexibility and professionalism.  I knew she was the right person to be with us on our wedding day and I simply wouldn't have asked for anyone else!  

So I was delighted when she asked if I'd blog for her..............to explain a little more about the role of Civil Celebrants and how they're performing personalised Wedding Ceremonies all across the UK. 

Here's the link to the blog, which gives you some insights into how a Civil Celebrant, can give you a most personalised and unique Wedding Ceremony:

http://blog.kimshawphotography.co.uk/?p=27

So if you're looking for a photographer that covers the Staffordshire, Shropshire or Cheshire borders................and who will put you at ease.........capture the essence of your wedding and just calmly bring it all together for you on the day................then get in touch with Kim!

The 'Just in Case' choice for religion!

"I'm not a Humanist............that was just too black and white for me...........I trained to become a Civil Celebrant!"

That means, that if families or couples want to put an element of religion into the ceremonies I design and take, then it's absolutely fine to do so.  Looking back on all the funeral services I wrote and took in 2012.........just over 65% of them had some form of religion in ........either a reading.....a prayer......or a hymn.

And their reason for doing so on many occasions?..........."Just in Case.......you never know!"

So people may choose not to have a member of the clergy standing up delivering belief systems but they may still want some comfort, peace, assurance.......or whatever we want to call it........at the very last hurdle! 

Very often, I'm introduced to families as someone who takes secular, non-religious services.  And for many that's appropriate and apt.  Yet when I let families know that they can in fact put something spiritual or religious into the service, they seem to readily make their choices..........and 65% of the time......choose to do so!

I've said before, that I don't think the world is so black and white - that we can say whether we're either religious or not religious.  I think those belief systems that go to the heart of who we are, they're much more debatable........and they swing on the pendulum every day!

But does that matter? 

If we want to put something into a ceremony "Just in Case" because that's how we feel today.......doing what we're doing:.......then in my world......that's fine!

Baby Naming Ceremonies - make them your 1st choice!

So your new little arrival is now with you!  

You want to mark this huge difference in your lives........

Are you thinking that your only option is a Christening?

Well let's just press the pause button and stop there!  

You may not consider yourselves to be religious or aligned to any particular faith.  You may have found out that for whatever reason, your local religious institution will not conduct a Christening for you.  But be very clear on one thing - you do have another option outside of the traditional route.

Baby Naming ceremonies, or as they're sometimes called Naming ceremonies, are a growing non-religious trend that are replacing the well known Christening ceremony.  They're run in a very similar way .........but have lots of bonuses that make them the right 1st choice - rather than the default when all else fails!

They tend to last for about 20-30 minutes...just like a Christening.......and have a structure that looks something like this:

• A warm and engaging welcome to everyone, with a little bit of background of the family.
• Readings or poems that have a special meaning
• Time to formally name the baby and welcome them into life, the family and wider community.
• Special commitments or promises from the parent(s)
• Special commitments or promises from the Guardians, Supporters or God-parents (you can use whichever name you're most comfortable with)
• Exchange of any special gifts
• Giving of certificates

This is just a basic guide - but what goes into a Naming ceremony depends on what everyone wants in there.  So you can be as intimate or as extravagant as you want to be!   These ceremonies are personalised and wrapped completely around you and your child - and that's how it should be.  Every child is unique.....and so too is every ceremony.

With Naming ceremonies, you get some great little extras:

• You have your own unique and individudal ceremony - you won't get asked to 'bundle' up with other families and be batched together!
• You get the chance to design and write your own special commitments to your baby that mean something to you - no reading from standard leaflets that are passed around at each ceremony and handed back at the end.
• You can hold the ceremony anywhere and anytime - in your own home or village hall in the evening if that suits!
  

 Formally trained and certified Celebrants are available all over the country.  Look out for someone who can show you a sample from a Baby Naming ceremony they've already run.  And also look out for someone who doesn't work for your local Council but who is independent.  Local Councils provide Baby Naming ceremonies but you'll probably be tied to using their licensed venues within restricted hours.  Some will hold them in private venues but might make an extra charge to you.  Some also charge extra for bank holidays and week-ends.  Most if not all Civil and Independent Celebrants, can give you a lot more flexibility and practical support!

Just because you choose not to have a religious celebration doesn't mean you should do without a celebration.....you and your child deserve something special! 

Go for a personalised and unique Baby Naming ceremony - make a difference to a little life.....and make it your 1st choice!

Top 5 reflections from 2011 - Celibate or Celebrant??!!

Today, like most of you, I've been looking back over the year.  Looking over my shoulders into what's gone before.....smiling about those things that have gone well.......frowning at those things I could have done better or differently!

But to stop me getting too reflective and maudling.......I pushed myself to just pull out some simple facts and observations about my celebrancy work this year.  And so as a starter for 10........here's my top 5 reflections from 2011.......and I can guarantee that one of them will make you smile!

• In the last 6 months alone, well over 2000 people have sat and listened to me lead a non-religious ceremony - now you can't accuse me of not spreading the word for Civil Celebrants!
• On the whole, the general public believe that you must be a humanist if you do non-religious ceremonies - the fact that a Civil Celebrant can do non or semi-religious services is not widely known.
• Many people who choose non-religious services, do in fact have some form of belief or spirituality.....they just don't want a member of the clergy or faith preaching or leading a mantra.
• The most Frequently Asked Question I get is ........"What made you go into this then?".......followed closely by  "What do you wear?"
• When I explain to people that I'm a Celebrant -  somebody always looks at me odd thinking they heard me say that I was celibate!.....I'm still not sure how to get around that one!

So there we have it.....a kind of mini-report and look back into 2011 and my work as a Celebrant.  2011 has been a great year for me.  I've met new and interesting people and learnt new and interesting things.  

I wonder what my observations will be this time next year?!..........