We were talking about the funeral services that I design and conduct and how they 'Celebrate' the life of the person who has died. And the statement that threw me from my friend, went something like this......
"I don't think I quite get it...... Funerals for me are a sombre time...........they're sad..............Celebrating it just doesn't feel right....I don't know.....maybe it's just me....."But I don't think it was just him. It made me think about the use of the word 'Celebration' in the context of taking a funeral service, and how that reaches into the very depths of our understandings and beliefs. Did he think that my services were all 'happy clappy',........even worse full of light entertainment that you'd expect from a Peter Kay or Russell Brand show?
So let's be clear. When I talk of the notion of 'Celebrating' someone's life at a funeral service, it's not about having an upbeat, full of laughter party. It's about:
- Putting the person who has died at the centre of attention - they take the spotlight for the service.
- Looking back on their life and the impact they have had in this world.
- Pulling out the legacy and footprints they leave behind and the affect on others.
- Focusing on those things people will miss most and helping to turn them into wonderful memories.
Now there might be subtle moments of smiling or laughter - we're all responsible for making people smile and laugh every day so why try and avoid it at a funeral? But yes funerals are sad. Yes they are emotional. Celebrating a life is not about fudging that - it's about saying that here today, in this room, this person takes centre stage. Let's give them the respect they deserve at their last show.
Celebrations done well can make a huge difference to people........But perhaps I just need to think a little more when I use the word 'celebrate' in my conversations!
Carole
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