Raising our game for feedback – just who are we in it for?

Over the bank holiday and early into this week, I have come across several occasions of people proffering their expertise, knowledge and skill. All of this has been with the aim of providing colleagues and friends, with much sought after feedback on key areas of development or discussion.

I have acutely listened and watched. I have despaired!

When we give feedback, an appraisal, a critique - can I offer a gentle reminder of what I believe to be five components that will make it a successful intervention:

* That the true beneficiary of feedback is the recipient – it is not to amplify the status, knowledge or perceived expertise of the individual offering their thoughts.

* That silence has a major part to play in the exercise – just because you cannot hear any dialogue does not mean that an inner conversation is not at work. Let the silence be.

* That the starting point is always the context of the person receiving the feedback. It is not your world that is most important here but the other person’s.

* That you should speak less than the appraisee! – Difficult for a lot of people!

* That you close your feedback intervention with the offer of an insightful question that is most likely to move the appraisee forward – after all it’s about them and not you!


Often when we are asked to give feedback on something for someone, it raises our own esteem and status on the issue – after all, they must be asking us because we are the experts!

But the true art of giving is about serving the need of others. So the next time someone asks you for feedback on something:

* Take a breath and be clear on whom you are doing this for – your own esteem or theirs.
* Accept that your view of the world may not be the best for others.
* Be comfortable in silence.
* Remember it’s their choice on what they do with the feedback.

And finally…

* Find a smart ending that will really help move the individual on in a thought provoking way!