Want to speak at a wedding or funeral? Top tips to help manage the emotion!

I've blogged on this topic before, but I make no apologies for doing so again.  Standing up and speaking at weddings, funerals or the like, can give an enormous sense of fulfillment and reward for those able to get through it.

You don't need to be a great public speaker - if that's your day time job, then relinquish it for 2-3 minutes of the ceremony.   You just need to be a good communicator that can engage and build rapport quickly, in a room floodlit with emotion.  This isn't about getting messages across, it's about managing the silence.....the space.....the emotion that's whirling around.

If you've been asked to speak at a major life celebration event, then chances are your anxiety levels have already peaked just thinking about it.  You might be having night-after-night of broken sleep.  You've probably already stood in front of the mirror to see how you look and sound!

But saying yes and accepting the invitation is a great first step - why?...because there's no going back really is there?  

• So first of all, you've been asked to speak because you matter - so take some time to just reflect on how proud you should feel for that.  
• Secondly, you've been asked to speak because you have something important to say - which means you have something worth listenting to.
• Thirdly,  everyone loves to hear someone different to the main orator of a service - it brings 'real stories' back into a ceremony.

So you see, there's already every good reason for you to be up there.  So here are some top tips to help put your thoughts together and deliver them:

• When you get to your speaking lectern or table.....stop......look to everyone...hold your presence...and count yourself in.  Avoid the temptation to get going as quickly as possible.  These occasions call for reverence.
• Find a theme around which to wrap your words - make it easy for people to follow you!
• If you don't have a theme, find 2-3 key points to wrap your words around - people can follow points!
• Keep your sentences short so that you can lift your head and keep eye contact with people.
• If you feel yourself welling up with emotion.  Stop.  Breathe deeply.  But more importantly lift your head up and look upwards.  It's near on physically impossible to cry with your head in this position! Our bodies normally go into the foetal position to help us cry and be emotive - so you must consicously open yourself 'outwards and upwards' to manage yourself. 
• Keep your pace slow......so that you don't speed through your words with anxiety.   Otherwise as quick as you're up there, you're back down again.  And that gets a bit like musical chairs!

It's not easy by any means.  But I'd rather spend extra time with individuals to help them prepare for the occasion, than to see them sitting in the audience watching me do what they wanted to do in the first place!  Where's the reward in that for people?

So next time you're asked to speak at one of these ceremonies.......try these simple but effective tips - I'd love to know how you got on.......


Good Luck


Carole